Friday, December 03, 2004

A fresh Start

Oh My Goodness... I have been such a slacker lately. I'm not so much talking about school, but more so my life and my ministry. I'm not sure when it exactly started but I do know the result was a little too much reliance on my dear sweet boyfriend and not enough reliance on the only one that I can put 100% faith into my Father in Heaven. This past month and a half especially I have changed in the regard that I haven't been relational. I haven't reached out to the new freshmen at CRU, I haven't engaged in spiritual discussions and I certianly haven't gone outside my comfort zone... in turn this resulted in my being clingy to Matt despite all warning he gave about that trap...(how horribleand unhealthy).
In anycase... God uses us all right where were at and meets us there... and today I really felt him meeting me right where I was. On the verge of slipping into my own plans for my life or following his. However, this weekend pointed out that when relying on my own plans for life they will fail misarably and I won't be the person that God has so carefully handcrafted me to be. Thus, making me certainly not be the girl that Matt met and fell in love with, or the girl that my friends here at school got to know and love. I was relying off my own strength...which certainly isn't enough and not God's. So today I am rededicating my life to what really matters and that is the heart for the Lord and the heart for the lost. Lord knows that I will fail on days, but with his strength and the fellowship of my brothers and sisters in Christ I know that I can make this next month and a half and beyond 100000 times better than the past month in a half. SO please keep me in your prayers... I know there will be days of strong temptation... but God will pull me through... "Trust in him and lean not on your own understanding..."

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